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Question: Breaking up while pregnant?

(Posted by: on 2012-01-26 14:22:06)

I'm 18, and a little over 13 weeks. My boyfriend is 21, and a perfectly able human being. We live together, with my mum, and have been together for a few months. Anyway, I was talking to my mum and we both came to a mutual agreement that he needs to get a job if he wants to continue to live with us. EVERY TIME i try to bring it up, he starts doing this little laugh thing and doesn't want to listen, or completely shuts down. At my mum's work, they hiring for full time with more benefits than I thought existed and if he can pass a typing test, there's no way he wouldn't get the job (my mum is like, one of the more important people at the place, and if she puts a good word in, he would most likely get hired). He's more interested in hanging out with his friends all the time, and working on his car that I'm trying to get him to get rid of because it is the opposite of safe, and we cannot have a baby in it. I gave him an ultimatum today and said if he didn't get a job, or at least start looking today that he doesn't get to move with us to the new house in February, and that we won't be together anymore after that. We need to have money saved, and he's currently on unemployment which he never knows when it will come in, and it's just NOT enough money what so ever. He doesn't want to work full time because he doesn't want to lose his friends, or not be able to hang out with them ever and I keep trying to tell him that that's part of being a father. You don't get to experience your twenties, you have to step up and be a man about it. I told him if he left to hang out with his friends today, without looking for a job on the computer for a little bit, or trying to pass the typing test a few more times, it would be over, because he's putting his friends before his adult responsibilities. We have a baby coming in five months, and he doesn't have a dollar to his name, and I can't deal with that. Should i just break up with him like I said I would? Or stay with him and hope he'll shape up? I think it's ridiculous that I'm the one being more adult about this, yet he's got over three years on me. Please help. I love him to death, but I can't have my child and I being second under his friends.

Posted by: dragon ksp on 2012-01-26, 14:51:54

You are completely right to feel this way. He should realize that he has a child coming very soon and should step up and be a man, like you said. His behaviour is immature and I respect you for maturing up and realizing the responsibilties of a mother. It's not like you can see your friends everyday or go out, this isn't fair. Try to talk to him again in a serious tone. Family always comes first. Best wishes!

Posted by: dymonblade on 2012-01-26, 19:38:49

I know how you feel. I was in the same situation and personally i think i should of left my babys dad before he was born but i didn't because i though he would change and i loved my now ex bf. I did break up with him after the baby got here because i soon relized i was the only one i could depend on to make sure our son had what he needed. Now the dads nowhere around because he mad at me for making a choice to put the baby first over him. But try having a serious talk with him again & see how he reacts. Glad your being responsible and being a great mom. Things will work out for the best even if later its not how you see it know