Trying To Conceive Homepage

Question: My mum is trying to conceive and i really want a baby?

(Posted by: on 2011-08-23 13:11:28)

My mum is 38. I don't have any siblings and while I used to support her having a baby with my step dad I've reached the age where I'm old enough to be it's mum (I'm 16 in October). I asked last year whether she was planning to have another one and she said that she wasn't. I explained to her that I didn't want a brother or sister anymore and would be against it now. Anyway now she's trying. I know it's none of my business and I'm not going to stop her from doing it if she really wants to. It's just I had a pregnancy scare a few months ago and it made me want to be a mother more than anything I've ever wanted before. I know how unrealistic this is and I've been making myself take precautions because I know that I couldn't support a child at this age financially. I obviously can't say this to my mum and it's killing me because I'm aching so badly from wanting a baby. Anyway her and my step dad have been horrible to me recently, always being stroppy and snapping even though I've been doing my hardest to please them. I help out at home, I'm an A grade student and make time for my priorities. It doesn't make it easier because I feel like I'm being pushed out of their happy family. I tried to explain this to her nicely but she told me I was being ungrateful. I don't know what to do and please don't tell me that having a sibling will open my eyes to babies because I know how much hard work they are! I had to live with my baby cousin a few months ago for a while and I loved it! But it's different when it's your mum. The only thing I've ever asked of her and my step dad is not to have a baby when I'm old enough to be its mother. If we were out in public they'd think that my parents are its grandparents. I don't know what to do :'( Please help me? I'm not being rude or pushy or controlling about the situation. I'm just hurt that she broke her word to me and that she's pushing me away when I'm obviously too young to leave home. I want her to be happy but it's hard when I feel like this. I'm not a bitch to her. And I wish people would read this properly. I never said it was my business.

Posted by: Erika Etkine on 2011-08-23, 13:15:43

Ur mom and step dad are just failing and they r taking it out on you. I dont think you can do anything but wait. And 16 is too young to be a mother. Your mother had you at 22 therefore the earliest you should do is right after college, AFTER you marry because otherwise it would be akward to get married in a dress for large ppl just bc ull be pregnant. Anyways, wait it out. Someday ur mother day will come, if it comes too soon it will be a hasslee. Be patient

Posted by: Unmarked Tombstone on 2011-08-23, 13:16:17

You are overreacting. Being seen out with a baby in public would ruin your image? You want a baby but it's your mom having one .... try and love that baby - you will even be able to fill that aching baby void you seem to have.

Posted by: Athena on 2011-08-23, 13:16:21

This is not your choice. It is your mom's decision, no matter how bad you would feel about it. It is her life, her choice. As to the way they treat you: You are growing up and they realize that you will not be around forever. It is a little rude of them to make you feel like you are being pushed out, but it is part of growing up to get nudged out of the nest. Don't be too pushy about this baby situation and if your mom does get pregnant then you can be a second mom to this baby as much as you want to.

Posted by: Elizabeth Greene on 2011-08-23, 13:20:39

Your mom wants a baby, that's her business. She should be able to live her life, however she wants to. You don't get to tell her when she can and can't have a baby. You just have to deal with it. At 15 it isn't uncommon for some girls to long for motherhood. But since you know it isn't the right time for you, just chill until it is. I think a baby sister or brother would be the excellent alternative. You get all the fun bits, and all the pain and worry gets borne by your mom. Just be supportive or at the very least neutral on the whole thing. She doesn't need the added stress of your attitude.

Posted by: Jan409 on 2011-08-23, 13:22:35

Actually it is their business whether to have a child , not yours Have you though that probably in a few years you'll have left the family home anyway your mum is ONLY 38, hardly a typical age for a grandmother Your time to have a baby will come, when you are in a stable, loving relationship, have a home of your own and you and your partner have a job concentrate on your studies and your friends for now and let your mum and partner get on with their own lives