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Question: I need relationship advice.?

(Posted by: cherry on 2010-09-03 21:07:58)

I have been dating my boyfriend for 9 months now- going on 10. I must say that these past 3 months have been very challenging. My family hates my boyfriend ( especially my dad and my grandmother ). They say that i can do a lot better than him. They think that he is controlling and is going to be very abusive. I know that ALL relationships have their ups and downs. Im not going to lie, he is a little controlling. I love my boyfriend with all my heart and i explained to him that he needs to stop getting upset about little things. And he did stop. But now my grandma is getting snoopy and thinks that he is lying about having a job. So she calls the place and they told her that they never heard of my boyfriend. But she really messed up because she didnt call the right person. It pisses me off how they dont trust me nor my boyfriend. And i know that he is working because i see his paychecks. Please tell me what you think. If you say i should "break up " with my boyfriend then ill look into it. Im stuck into a situation that is hard to get out of; i dont think ill ever get out of if i ever marry him. They really want this guy out of my life and they see how happy I am with him. They still dont care. If i lose him, i will be a complete different person. This guy changed me and if he is gone all of that will start back at level 1. please help!

Posted by: Alex B on 2010-09-03, 21:13:34

You know, your family isnt together with him. You are. You decide whats best for you and no one else. If you love him, stick by him and trust him until he gives you a reason not to.

Posted by: RayJS on 2010-09-03, 21:10:31

Trust yourself. You will know what to do.

Posted by: Jordyn Brantley on 2010-09-03, 21:14:35

If he is actually abusive, then kick his ass to the curb. Along with the lying. Not ALL family is going to immediately like the person you're with, but if you love them, then they learn to deal with and respect it.

Posted by: FLbeachGrl on 2010-09-03, 21:16:25

You definitely do not want to be with a controlling guy. Their behavior will get worse over time. You should get out of this relationship while you still can and while you have your family there to support you. But really controlling guys start off just a little controlling, as time goes on it Will get worse. Then you will lose your self esteem and start making excuses for him and trying to change him...which will be unsuccessful. Who cares about level 1, you are young. Do not get caught up in such a unhealthy relationship. Get out.

Posted by: mary b on 2010-09-03, 21:17:07

Your family wants what's best for you. They may see what you don't. If you love him it will be really hard to see any faults that he may have ,and if you do your heart maybe saying say with him. Ask your family why they don't like him. I wouldn't say break up with him just get some time and reflect. You don't want to marry him and he goes back to his old ways. My mother told me what she thought about a man I was dating and at some point she was very right. He did exactly what she said he would do....Good luck with this

Posted by: Salandra on 2010-09-03, 21:19:33

Sweety, if he doesn't work there he doesn't. They have to page the person if someone calls for them even if they haven't heard of them. He most likely lied. unless he works at a mom and pops place, i doubt he knows every single person there. How did she not even call the "right person " who would be the right person? What does he have to hide? let him allow her to call the right person. And if he is controlling how can they trust him? People who control know they are that way, that's why they do it. Because they're paranoid you will do what they do. and starting at level 1? you sound codependent. I say you dump him and get help but i don't think you're looking for help i think you're looking for somewhere to complain.