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Question: I need relationship advice?

(Posted by: DoYouBeliveInFate? on 2010-03-07 11:30:50)

Hi im a 18yr old male i got real bad problem, well ive been with my girlfriend for over 1yr and 5months and within 2 months of our relationship i kissed 5 other girls on a night out, i was a real arsewhole but i didn love he at this point just liked her. well i didnt tell her what hapend i just forgot bout it nd it didnt bother me but now i love her the whole world shes my everything the only girl wo keeps me together, ive never felt this way about anyone before, its amazing but i remembered what happend then and im constantly filled with this guilt especially since shes alswys nice to me and loves me immensly. i want to tell her but i dont want to break her heart just to make me feel better i love her too much to do that. but i have people saying just respect her and tell her. i just dont no what to do. after i had kissed those girls (never slept with any of them or any other girl) about a week later we broke up for other issues then we got back together 2 days later. i have well and truly learnt my lesson. but i no if i tell her there is NO chance she will take me back, god im an arsehole. i think im guna live with the guilt as a punishment for what ive done, and she will stay happy like she deserves. what do you guys think?

Posted by: R.E. on 2010-03-07, 11:36:07

It was selfish to kiss the other girls. How about not being selfish now. You can rid yourself of the guilt by telling her, this will break her heart and you will no longer have to live with your secret, this would be very selfish. Be thankful you didn't get caught and try to learn from this. I can't help you with your guilt. No one can.

Posted by: Cindy on 2010-03-07, 11:36:37

You should be open and honest, if the relationship is strong then she will realize that you made a mistake and it was at the beginning of your relationship. When you do tell her, you need to be prepared to lose her trust temporarily. It can only strengthen your relationship, you will lift that weight from your shoulders and be able to concentrate on more important things.

Posted by: polara on 2010-03-07, 11:36:47

First, don't kiss and tell. you think your an arsehole now?? you will really be one if you tell her. the kissing didn't count when you did it. it would only count if you did it now. don't let guilt bite you in the ass.

Posted by: Dia on 2010-03-07, 11:38:12

You need to tell her, no matter how hard it's going to hurt her. Would you want to know if she did that to you? If you are honest with her she might forgive you and it may make your relationship stronger. You don't want those girls coming around telling her, that would make her not trust you. Just tell her you kissed them, if that's all you did. Just make sure that you tell her you love her and she means everything to you, tell her how you feel about her.

Posted by: Gimp360 on 2010-03-07, 11:41:34

If you think that telling her will hurt her, then don't. It wont do any good, its just you hurting her for selfish reasons. You kissed some girls one night. Yeah, you shouldn't have done it. But its not the end of the world. On the other hand, it was a long time ago, so maybe she wont react as bad as you think. Basically, its a judgment call. how do you think she'll react?