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Question: Parents divorce advice?

(Posted by: on 2012-01-07 15:58:29)

My parents are divorcing. I'm not sure how to handle it, I'm 15 and I have a 5 year old sister... My mom has told me many times that she and my dad are getting a divorce, she said that she wanted to prep me and let me know in advance, my mom has been telling me since summer of 2011. Everytime their together they always fight and argue, I feel bad for both of my parents because I can see how they feel... I'm kinda scared to see what happens in the next 2 months! where will we be. Everytime I try to ask my dad or get in a real conversation he tries to avoid the questions or ignore me, I don't think he realizes that him not talking to me by having normal conversation is making me feel that he thinks I'm not mature... And now since I only talk to my mom he gets jealous because we r really close. My sister seems to be ok when she sees them fighting but I can tell shes not, now she has been acting bad in school and not listening to anyone, if this divorce thing hasn't even started how are our lives going to get any better? I mean is this normal? I tell my sister all the time that us sisters will stick together and be strong but idk?

Posted by: Merry on 2012-01-07, 16:20:55

Do you have an adult in your life who would be willing to talk to your parents about this for you? Your parents shouldn't be putting you in the middle. There's no reason to give you a long "prep " time - that's just dragging out the pain. Ask your parents to either go to marriage counseling if they think they can make it work. Or, to file for divorce, but not to put you and your sister in the middle. It will eventually get better - but dragging things out only makes it harder. As far as your dad, you could try writing a letter to him. He might be more likely to read it all the way through, without shutting down as it sounds like he's been doing. Tell him that you WANT to be close to him also (not just your mom) - but that you need his cooperation on that. That's great that you tell your sister that you'll stick together. Even if she doesn't know it yet, she's very lucky to have you. It would be nice if the two of you could see a counselor if you're having a hard time dealing with all of this. If your parents can't afford one, most schools have counselors who can help. I'm sorry for your pain. Good luck getting through this. It might not end up the way you hope, but the pain will get better.