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Question: Any christian relationship advice?

(Posted by: on 2011-10-27 16:05:05)

My boyfriend is a 30 year old janitor and I am a 25 year old Grad Student who is going to Law School in 10 months. He lives with his parents and said he will not leave until he finds a sugar mama. He said he wants to break up until I become a lawyer, then he will marry me and retire to become a stay- at- home dad. He doesn't want to be with me now because he is ashamed to defy his friends and family who hate me. I am not happy with our relationship but I love him so much. I was hoping for some advice and possibly some dating advice from the bible.

Posted by: DM on 2011-10-27, 16:07:59

Let go and let God..... It's obvious neither of you are capable of deciding so just leave it all up to God and just go with the flow. At least you know he knows how to clean well so that's a plus.

Posted by: craig b on 2011-10-27, 16:12:04

He is a selfish pig. And you are the classic CODEPENDENT! You both really, REALLY need to grow up!

Posted by: M. Freedom on 2011-10-27, 16:15:33

First of all bible states what has light got to do with darkness? and do not be unequally yoked. this means do not marry a non believer. he may say he is a believer but the bible states how a truly saved man lives. for one thing bible states you don't work you dont eat. bible states a man is to take care of his family or he is worse than a non believer. yes bible actually says that. it doesn't matter what [honorable] job he has, even garbage collector as long as he is a contributing member of society. man was not made to stay home out of laziness to hide away from the world. as a lawyer you will meet and deal with many successful men during the years. you will have much in common with them, the fact he wants a sugar mama shows he has a bad mentality. bible also says the heart is the biggest deciever, go with your common sense. that guy has no intergrity. poor character, not even good father material. you want to live according to Gods inspired word? then flee from this man, he will bring you down.

Posted by: Smiling Simon on 2011-10-27, 16:17:50

Dating advice from the Bible? Unlikely, I would think! People fall madly in love, but the ecstasy, excitement, strong passions and desires, and high emotion are very hard to keep up, so eventually we start to come down, typically after around 18 months to three years. If people discuss their mutual values, shared ambitions, interests, etc., in some depth (obviously there will be some differences, which help make relationships interesting), and make plans, work on their personal development, etc., this can develop into a long and wonderful relationship. If one party feels insecure or low in self respect, it can make for a difficult partner. It's easy to behave at our best when in love, but marriage involves a lot of self discipline, sacrifice, compromise and flexibility. Teenage & 20s marriages are so very often disastrous in the longer term: it's very hard to get to know and understand others until we get to know ourselves, our own needs, etc. which are still fluctuating a bit until we are "mature " (typically women in later 20s, men mid 30s). Hence, adolescents' feelings often fluctuate somewhat. This is a very good reason for avoiding the emotionally bonding sexual intercourse, as it can so often lead to serious mental and emotional confusion. I hope you can develop more self respect and emotional self sufficiency than even to consider being with such a shallow and materialistic man.

Posted by: poppyanne on 2011-10-27, 16:29:37

He's just looking for someone to keep him in the luxurious life he has set out to have .all you will be to him now and in the future will be a meal ticket ,he says he's going to be a stay at home dad, so he wants a free living and free 'no obligations sex' dump him you're worth better than that.

Posted by: Matthew on 2011-10-27, 16:35:16

Hate to say this... He just wants you to buy his beer and have sex with him and then, while you're at work at the law office, troll for willing women on Adult Friend Finder. Livin' large! I take it he puts a smile on your face (ahem) for his trouble, but that's not everything. You don't need this.

Posted by: xXStarfire_09Xx on 2011-10-27, 16:53:55

Just reading what you wrote down about his characteristics. He doesn't sound like someone I believe God would send to you as a future husband. I really believe you should let this person go. I know it's going to hurt letting go, but, how do you know if God sent you another person to marry but you married this guy (who was not the one for you). Pray for a husband, not force yourself to be with someone who you're not entirely sure about. I highly suggest you break up with him.

Posted by: Paul on 2011-10-27, 16:59:59

The only scripture which comes of mind is "Don't no be unequally yoked with unbelievers. " Which means a believer shouldn't marry an unbeliever - and if you aren't going to marry one why date them? If you were my daughter I certainly would not tell you what to do about your boyfriend. But I would mention there were several types of mixed marriages; of course race or ethnicity; money (one from a wealthy background the other middle to low income); age (just too much difference in the ages (I'm 77 tell me about it :))); education (both can become exasperated as hell with the other - can't he see - why doesn't he respect the fact I know [have been taught] what I'm doing; why does she always think she's right (a tendency of many lawyers); cultural differences (I live next door to a wonderful red neck couple - they show up at my door at least once a month with a plate of food and have helped me no end) - my people both had their college degrees my dad a graduate decree - I'm a retired attorney - there's too much difference between our cultural backgrounds for me to be married to any of their family. Be careful my dear - it's not that you are better than he is - that's bullcr*p - you are different. I've got a couple of good tips for you re law school email ravik5x2 - at - comcast - dot - net.