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Question: Sex and relationship advice for a late bloomer?

(Posted by: Spunky on 2011-10-18 20:34:19)

I'm 19, male, in Canada, and I'm kind of a super late bloomer, or at least I think. I've never had a girlfriend through all of highschool and my first year of college, and i'm going into year 2 of 3 in my course come september. First I've got to ask, how common is it for a guy to not have a girlfriend / get laid by the time he's nearly 20? Sex, though, isn't that big a deal for me. I say this because while I am attracted to girls, and I do have my needs, I'm more interested in the relationship aspect and her being happy. They say that nobody in their right minds would want to be with someone who doesn't bring out the best in them, right? Well I feel I don't have too much to offer a relationship right now, being a ridiculously shy introvert and having no really great experience so far. You don't know me, so I guess I can't ask you how to change, but what are some ideal qualities in someone you like, and to have in a relationship in general? One last thing I want to know, although it's weird asking, is opinions on sex. I've never had it, but when (if) I ever do, I want to do it right. Looking at porn, or any crap on the internet, I can't be the only one who thinks that kind of sex looks terribly bad and pointless. It's just people going through the motions of sex, right? What makes sex actually good? And how do you properly please a woman? Any and all answers are super appreciated

Posted by: M-el-e on 2011-10-18, 20:38:40

20 is fine as long as you are not the 40 year old virgin. Got a good personality?good then your girl is just around the corner..and its me.haha jk but it will happen

Posted by: Toby on 2011-10-18, 20:41:43

To answer this in a million different ways I will try not to do, but bare with me. There is no such thing as 'ideal qualities', people do not develop serious relationships with you (what I'm assuming you're interested in) based on whether or not you have certain great things about you. That sounds stupid, but people will date you for your unique personality, and even for your personal flaws. As for sex, don't worry about it. I started at 14, and all that started was a headlong rush of bad thoughts, and jumping into things way too quickly. There is no predefined right time to have sex, it is best when you are comfortable with it. As for why people have sex...go find out, I can't explain it. Sex can be good in a number of ways, not just stemming from sexual satisfaction but also personal satisfaction that you are pleasing your partner. When pleasing a woman, it tends to depend on what she likes, which you will find out as you adventure down there.

Posted by: Kate on 2011-10-18, 20:46:28

It`s not uncommon for someone your age to not have had sex. A lot of people don`t open up until after highschool when your peers are more accepting of the way you are, so more introverted people usually don`t have sex or sexual relationships until then when they are more comfortable with themselves. The last place you should be looking for examples of sex is on porn sites. It`s all dramatized brainless emotionless crap. What makes sex good is being with someone who you can have fun with and be comfortable with, this is definitly worth waiting for for your first time. I think the only reason you are seeing sex in such a bad light is because you havn`t experienced it for yourself and have this contorted idea of what it`s all about. I think you will be pleasantly surprised. :)

Posted by: Everance on 2011-10-20, 11:54:02

Keep in mind that time is very important and that if you are going to settle down, do it with a good girl no need to rush!! So forget statistic about others, that's not important, if you get involved in some bad relationship it will typically create a pattern for yourself that you will not want so make it a good pattern, don't walk around jaded. In college you will grow as a person and get to know what you like and want and from when you know what you want you will attract it. Now in terms of sex, what makes it good is having it with someone you like & visa versa, hence chemistry which will result in a good rhythm while your in the act! If you read this > >zzinsider.com/ blogs/ view/ back_to_school_101_dorm_room_sex, you will know what Not to do in college hehe. and if you do want to learn about how to please a woman check out that same blog > > zzinsider.com/ blogs/ sex_advice, theres all kinds of advice here and it's SFW (so you can read up at school) Good luck !