Advice For Relationship Problems Homepage

Question: Advice for relationship problem?

(Posted by: John S on 2008-07-29 02:24:55)

So I've been with my girlfriend for 2 years right now.....couldn't be happier, both deeply in love, whole nine yards. I haven't seen her in over a month and at a party the other night I got blackout drunk and ended up kissing another girl. It got a little heavier than that but NO sex. I've spent the last few days beating myself up, but ultimately I realized I'm beyond happy/ fulfilled in my relationship and this seriously meant less than nothing to me (It's no excuse but 12 shots have made people do crazier things). I have NEVER cheated and NEVER would think of even putting myself in a situation like this ever again because it ultimately just made me miss the one I love even more. It didn't happen because I don't love her, I realize it happened because I missed the intimacy we share when we're together. I have no issue simply forgetting the whole thing ever happened and moving on because I feel like this only further affirmed my feelings for her, but I still need some advice...someone? One other detail......we live in different states and are on summer vacation from college. Ultimately no one she knows (no mutual friends) were involved in this nightmare (it really did feel like a dream), so the only way she would EVER find out is if I told her. I don't feel like it's a secret because if she asked me about it then I wouldn't deny it and ultimately I don't feel like anything has changed for me. I still love her as much as the first day I met her and it's made me realize that I just need to be much more careful of what situations I put myself in. But just to clarify....she will NEVER find out unless through me

Posted by: Din B on 2008-07-29, 02:28:26

Be honest with her, I would want my GF to tell me something like that.

Posted by: random_yehh222 on 2008-07-29, 02:29:39

Talk to her via email, phone, text. why arent you seeing her is she abroad???????????? if she isnt then organise a romantic dinner or something, candelit is good. if you feel guilty bowt the kiss than maybe tell your gf or confess at church...... idk if it really ment nothing then just forget bowt it, evryone has done smething stupid wen theyr drunk.

Posted by: eightbottlesofbeer on 2008-07-29, 02:29:42

Don't tell her. You done the wrong thing and you have to live with it. If you can. Don't let her feel like crap because of what you did. P.S Make it at least one full caret.

Posted by: haleycakes. on 2008-07-29, 02:30:43

You need to tell her what happened. That will take a lot of the pressure away. If she truly loves you, she'll be deeply hurt, but she'll see past it and realize that you're sorry and that it will never happen again. Go to her and just apologize, and let her know how sorry you are for it. Keeping secrets will only hurt you in the long run.

Posted by: Jay on 2008-07-29, 02:31:23

This may back fire, but I feel as though you should tell your girl friend how you feel about her and the relationship and explain to her what happened. If you hide this detail from her and someone that she knows ends up telling her what happened, that will end up very badly for you. You would rather her hear the story from you (her man) rather than just some random person who for all you know may be out to get you for who knows what reason.

Posted by: Rather Grim on 2008-07-29, 02:32:27

Think, if she did this, would you rather her tell you? I know if this happened to me, I would rather my girl friend tell me ....

Posted by: Bekiiee =] on 2008-07-29, 02:32:31

If you think it affirmed your feelings for her, and you think you did what happened cause you missed her being around she will probably understand, but tell her as soon as you can, if you hold it back and tell her later she will get more upset then she would be if you tell her now and the reasons. i think she'll understand because you have been with each other fr 2 years. just be honest and trust her feelings for you. good luck

Posted by: Tina P on 2008-07-29, 02:32:59

This is something you two definitely need to talk about and don't sweep under the rug. Once you get it out, leave it alone. If you are two years into a realtionship, you need a commitment. If you can't commit, move on!!

Posted by: mateoscleaning on 2008-07-29, 02:34:29

I must say u did good for doing 12 shots but try not to put yourself in that same situation again. I am a woman and I understand where u are coming from. Everyone makes mistakes dont beat yourself up over just kissing could have been worst.

Posted by: shee on 2008-07-29, 02:35:17

Be honest and tell her what happened if you want the best in your relationship pliz

Posted by: ryno on 2008-07-29, 02:37:27

Don't tell her if u tell her she wont be able to carry on going out with you, contrary to Elvis people can go on with suspicious minds but go on knowing? no chance she wont trust u anymore so it would make your life hell but inside you'll always be thinking shes going to do the same but your going to have to cope with that.