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Question: My finacee is on internet dating websites and sms his "friends". he chats with them on skype. help me!?

(Posted by: sadly lost on 2009-02-14 05:44:01)

I brought my fiancee over to the US from The Netherlands. He lives in my home, uses my computer, phone, and car. I do not make alot of money and have barely enough to live uncomfortably. He is not working. I logged into mycomputer one day and found him on internet dating sites (2 that I know of) sending emails to women. He sends emails and sms to his old girlfriends whom he considers his "friends " But his friends want him back and back in their lives, they send kisses etc, and tell eachother they love each other. So far the count is 4 "friends " and 12 "friends " from dating sites. He talks to his friends on Skype, too. Now these "Friends " are calling my home. He erases all hs text messages, and gets angry if I ask any questions about his friends in casual conversations. I am heartbroken and am having anxiety attacks. Everyday he tells me he loves me and wants a future with me, and says he wants me. I feel like an all day sucker. I have confronted him and he says they are just friends. Please help.

Posted by: Would'nt you know.... on 2009-02-14, 05:50:59

This is a bad situation, Im sorry to say but he cannot think all that much of you if he is using internet dating sites? If he were happy, why would he use them? This happened to me too thats why I know what I am talking about. He is keeping his options open and by the sounds of it using you for a free ride while he is at it. Im sorry you are going through this but you sound like a nice person and you deserve better. It will hurt right now, but in the long run if wont stop doing this, then you are better off without him.

Posted by: Heart Felt on 2009-02-14, 05:47:48

Love him ask him to change, he is just bored, so create some excitement in person, sure beats the internet competition

Posted by: The Professor on 2009-02-14, 05:50:28

Next time, don't date Mr. Pretty Face Who is Too Lazy To Get A Job. ROFLMAO

Posted by: Miss A on 2009-02-14, 05:51:42

Leave he wants his fun doesent want commitment find someone who loves you, and is loyal you deserve better!!

Posted by: Remy on 2009-02-14, 05:53:04

Set some mutual, realistic, firm boundaries and expectations. Maybe if he found some work and stopped looking for new female companionship, you might not feel like he was using you. Honor your boundaries and don't make any promises about housing him unconditionally while he continues to disrespect you. Respect yourself and others may follow.

Posted by: broken_birds_fly on 2009-02-14, 05:57:13

First of all, it isn't fair that he's not contributing anything! A good relationship is a partnership. He should be spending his time at least attempting to find work rather than on the internet all day! Do you really want to be his caretaker the rest of his life? He's a grown man who is acting like am immature boy! Second of all, if he's getting angry and defensive about his "friends " than that's a clear indication that he has something to hide. It IS a dating site!- Of course it's wrong of him to go on there and meet woman if he's supposed to be in a relationship with you! You should go with your gut feeling. He isn't trustworthy and the fact that you don't trust him is enough to end it! There's no future in a relationship that's lacking trust on one or both sides. Him saying he loves you and wants a future are just words. He's not doing anything to prove it.

Posted by: Jim on 2009-02-14, 05:57:56

Sorry, but he sounds like an ***. Get away from him as soon as possible.

Posted by: Orlando B on 2009-02-14, 06:00:32

Looks straight forward, unfortunatelly you are being used, he will never change, now he knows he can get away with anything so it is time for him to GO! Be brave and kick the scam bag out, It will be hard at first but you will be much much happier thereafter.